Shift your mindset from doubt to hope – to believe that miracles DO happen!! 

This will open up the possibility for love to come in whereas if you keep your mind set in doubt your VIBE is not open to or going to attract to it new potentials.

If you find this hard, then to help to start to alter your mind set observe the everyday marvels that are outside of human control, like the miracles of nature.
  it a baby or a mighty oak where just one seed is planted – one seed! – being enough for the wonder of nature to takes its course and in the fullness of time produce AMAZING things. 

If you are finding it hard to have hope you may need a ‘Bad Feeling Bonfire’ to release the old – old outdated thoughts & feelings. 

This tip is inspired by an episode of ‘Friends’ when they held a ‘boyfriend bonfire’, I love it because it is simple & effective, using the most ancient method of removing the old to make room for the new, fire!

Simply take time to write down on paper the detail of any past hurts & disappointments. You can write down the names of people involved in these relationships and hurtful experiences. Include any details that come to mind, recalling any past history that no longer has anything positive to offer.

Write down all of the past history and emotional baggage that no longer serves you to keep bringing into your present time – by continuing to think about them.

When you are done with your list, burn it! Perhaps saying something like a farewell to the old memories, if you wish to do so.

Much like nature with the trees at this time of the year, in order for new buds to form next spring the leaves that have come to the end of their cycle now need to now fall away, to make room for the new.

In 2008 I did my own bad feeling bonfire, I wrote down all past painful memories and then burnt them, to release them from my memory bank. As the embers glowed I said that

“I allow myself to release all that has not been of my highest good and promise to choose better for myself next time”.

I let go!

(This may sound a bit out there to some. I just found that this physical action to clear out, worked for me. It was really strange at how much lighter my spirit felt from doing so and more importantly how the previous unpleasant memories no longer surfaced in my thoughts. Perhaps it worked just because I believed that it would – the mind truly is a marvel and an enigma!)

((safety note: sadly necessary to mention in the world we currently live in, of low self-responsibility, to obviously burn things outside in a safe & sensible way. I use my chimnea then cleared out the ashes a few days later to remove the traces from my environment, which felt really cleansing)).

You may wish to do this tip again since more memories may come to mind over the days following this process, there is no set amount of times to do this, and if this method resonates with you then you can work out what’s best for you by giving it a go. 

Take RESPONSIBILITY

As easy as complaining about things and the situations that had happened in love, felt for me…I had to admit that only I had put myself in those unbalanced and sometimes toxic situations. I had let myself down by ignoring my gut feelings…Since if I was to honest with myself when reflecting on past toxic connections, I had sensed the dishonesty that caused much pain –  But because they were good looking or fundamentally because I did not wish to be alone – I ignored the voice of my gut.

By holding the bad feeling bonfire, I found it to not only cathartically cleansing, it was also the opportunity I needed to forgive myself for not taking the best care of myself that I could!

I saw it as the time to mentally draw a line in the sand underneath all that had passed and chose to move forward – promising myself to create better for myself next time.

To begin to take responsibility for my own happiness!

Examine your role models of love – if you haven’t got any – get some. 

We are more likely to believe in true love if we see it as being possible and a reality by witnessing it in other people’s relationships. I don’t mean Disney movies I mean in real life.

• Get new role models – mine were not my parents for it did not work for them but I am blessed to see unconditional love in the relationships of friends, friends’ parents and with my stepmum Charlotte & Dad.
• Put down the gossip magazines and don’t watch chat shows where drama prevails. Pick up books and watch films, where true love happens to increase your exposure to it!

What we focus on and give our attention to is what we will see show up in our own lives. This is why when I gave up complaining I grew bored of reading drama filled magazines and watching soap operas that are full of slanging matches.

Play the dreaming game.

When you were young do you remember drifting off to sleep with dreams of holidays, of what Santa or your birthday may bring? Now what plays on your mind each night? drama? Work? Or worries?

Why not instead try to let your thoughts  set on what you DO want as you get cosy in bed?

If your mind is in buzz mode right now and this seems impossible, then try scribbling down your to do list & all of the things that are playing on your mind. By getting them down on paper and out of your head it will allow you some head space to begin to imagine…

Picture in mind dates – Date nights that you will have each week with your love.

Birthdays coming up – where you will  & what you will see?

This is not only a lovely thing to do each night to ease your feelings of being alone, it also works wonders. In 2010 I had all over angel bumps and felt quite spun out when my Star took me, as a surprise, to Rome for my 30th birthday. He had no idea that prior to meeting him I had dreamt of being there with my love SO many times!

Remember that

So if you are thinking a lot about what you DOwant and DO wish for – if you regularly review your WOO list and imagine being with your love, then you are bringing these into your own vibration and so bringing these desirable things to you.

As you drift off to sleep – build up pictures of what and where you wish to  with your love including the following details to build the full picture. This will imprint your desires upon your subconscious mind – which rules attraction – and creates the magic!

Make space for someone in your life.

This may sound once more, a bit out there! However, the old adage ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ is true!

So if you act as though you are already in a relationship – by trying things like the following – you are putting out the VIBE of being with someone and so nature will fill this void, by someone somehow appearing in your life. This is the Law of Attraction in action!

• Make room for his/her things. When your love does visit where will their things go? Can you make some room in your wardrobe or have a spare draw in you room?
• Time – can you make evenings to date yourself, to go and do some of the things you wish to with your love, by yourself?

Name & characterise them.

Mr Amazing – Mr Wonderful – Miss Gorgeous – Miss Beautiful……whatever works for you (mine was Mr Gillette after loving the advert for years I had my heart set on my love having a solid jaw).

This might sound odd but just trust me, naming them really keeps you focused on the VIBE of what you want – and this will build their presence up energetically to bring them to you.

A photo or picture of the type or character you are wishing for I believe helps too.

I had a snap of Mr Darcy up in my relationship corner of my room (feng shui) for the 7 months until Stars showed up…which I quickly hid when he did come by! Ha! I chose Mr Darcy because I wished for a true gent. Someone with a seemingly arrogant character that in fact, is merely a mask for a sincere generous and upright nature.

That worked for me, think about what works for you!

 And that’s it.